Some Brief Thoughts on a more Reasoned Response to Karaoke

December 8, 2008

As goes Malaysia, so goes the rest of the world.

Well, we can hope so anyway.

According to the newswires, a 23-year-old Malaysian man was killed earlier this month at a karaoke session at a coffee house after he enraged other customers by hogging the microphone.

For those who don’t know, Karaoke, a corruption of the Japanese phrase for “somebody make him stop, PLEEZ,” is a diagnostic tool that’s been around for 30 years or so. It is a more accurate gauge of inebriation than the simpler and quieter Breathalyzer test used by law enforcement personnel to estimate whether or not a subject is drunk.

The Breathalyzer, for all its portability and inability to play music most of us hoped never to hear again is fine as far as it goes. But its results cannot be used in court as evidence because there is some doubt as to its accuracy in determining whether or not a subject is blitzed.

Karaoke leaves no doubt whatsoever.

According to in-depth research I did over about 10 minutes on the Internet, Asia has seen a number of incidents in which singers have been assaulted, shot, or stabbed mid-performance, underlining the evidence that the Orient has been civilized much longer than has the West.

Some sources reported that Karaoke rage is not at all uncommon in Asia. In fact, there have been reports that Frank Sinatra’s “My Way” has generated so many outbursts of hostility that some bars in the Philippines no longer offer it on the karaoke menu.

In Thailand earlier this year, a gunman shot and killed eight people as a critical commentary on their endless renditions of “Country Road” by John Denver.

For reasons I have not been able to determine, the gunman was arrested.

==============================.

© 2008 Marsh Creek Media, Gettysburg, Pa.

“Burger to Go” is a product of me and my company, Marsh Creek Media and, as such, I am solely responsible for its content.

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