OOPS! It’s Elvis

August 26, 2007

About a month ago I read a news report about a woman in Colorado. She is a rock collector, and her claim to fame is that she found a rock that she swears looks like Elvis Presley’s head.

The collector put the rock on Ebay and put a reserve on it of $20,000. So far, nobody has met that price, never mind surpassed it. What is this country coming to? Apparently we have no cultural for, um, whatever that is.


On the Ebay site, they quoted a Colorado geologist who said that “the rock is 3 billion year old pre-Cambrian granite. He stated that the rock does not appear to be altered in any manner, and the image is a natural formation caused by weathering.”

Well, it’s good to know that the rock is genuine.


That’s a photo of the rock. If you look closely, you will see, inside the black oval, the 3-million-year-old image of Elvis. I don’t know about you, but I think he got better looking as he got older. I don’t want to be a party-pooper here, but for the life of me, the figure on the rock looks more like the cartoon character, Alley Oop.

So what?

Because it’s Elvis. Or Alley Oop. Or one of the Founding Fathers, for that matter?






Because it is not, or not claimed to be, either Jesus or The Virgin Mary.

Apparently, many religious types firmly believe that God has whole legions of angels who have as their primary assignment slipping around in the dark of night painting His son’s and His son’s mama’s likeness on bits of toast, mildewed walls, spilled paint, and biological stains on clothing.

Some of them are better artists than others, or perhaps I just don’t understand abstract impressionism.

I wonder if practitioners of Islam are forever seeing the Prophet’s likeness peering out of their hummus.

I wonder what atheists think when they spot a rock like that chunk of granite and see, however crudely done, a profile more-or-less-clearly etched thereon.

Oh, wait, I think I know the answer:

“Hey, look! It’s Alley Oop!”


© 2007 Marsh Creek Media,

Gettysburg, Pa.

“Burger to Go” is a product of me and my company, Marsh Creek Media and, as such, I am solely responsible for its content.

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